In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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