So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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