Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
