...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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