come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
