Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
