i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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