no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
