we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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