that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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