Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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