we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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