im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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