i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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