My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
