just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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