We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize