Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
