You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I smell like Dick and happiness
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
