So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
