is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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