I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
