i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
