You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
