I didn't shave. On purpose
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
