there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
