Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
