just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
