i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
