you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
grandma shit on top of the toilet
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize