3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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