It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
