So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
