Plan B is the new Plan A
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
zippers are such a cool invention
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
