Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
