He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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