Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
