Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
