it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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