She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
