she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
