I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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