Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
