so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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