Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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