I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize