Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
