Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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