Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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