how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
