Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
