Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
COCAINE IS GR8
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
