If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
