3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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