NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize