Tell her she can't have a vagina
this beer tastes like vomit already
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
