I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
