dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
should my penis look like a turkey
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just high enough for therapy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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