I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
