did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
