We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
