I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize