Porn is love you can see.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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