my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
