Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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