He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
