k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize