so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
