BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
