dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
