DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
