seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
