The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
