So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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